In a sea of sheer stuff on the internet these days, the staff here at Groovy Groomsmen Gifts as the Christopher Columbus likes to see ourselves of exploration. We have long ago discovered groomsmen gift giving is not a flat world and with our pirate telescopes in hand, we’ve ventured far and wide to seek about what we view as the most super cool groomsmen gifts ideas in the land.
We’ve looked big box, we’ve looked boutique shops, no remote island has gone un-scoured for possible treasures. Ultimately, we’ve kept to our view that the best groomsmen gifts tend to embody two if not more of our 5 Groomsmen Gift Commandments:
With that said, let’s take a look at what we see as our top 12 groomsmen gift ideas for 2016.
What can we say, these guys master Commandment number 4 and fully knock the ball off the cover on number 3? Their slant pulls out the testosterone in men, grabbing at their primal selves during the opening process. At the core of us guys, we are survivalists. We want to use our primitive self to kill and eat. While there isn’t much killing with a man crate, there is prying open, hearing wood and nails crackle as natural aggression is used to get to that pack of tasty beef jerky. The options of crate kill are endless, the consistency is in their amazing packaging.
Simply genius, pure genius. Whomever on the scorzie team dreamt up this gallant gizmo should be awarded some level of Dude Nobel Peace Prize. We sit back and imagine how it happened and we envision something so manly romantic, one might even call it romantic. Likely a quartet of chums in one’s backyard, flipping bean bags into cornholes, all players a couple IPA’s deep. One then spills his beer into the lush bluegrass, causing panic amongst the brotherhood. Upon replenishing and resuming the match, they all look at themselves confused and wondering what the hell the score was. There you have it, the magic of the Scorzie, no beer spilled, no score forgotten.
3. Golf Club Toppers
This sport, why does it hypnotize us, men? We pound this silly little ball around a giant green plot of land with a club looking for tiny holes to put it in. It sounds ridiculous. The reality is that it is AMAZING. Legend has it, GOLF is simply an acronym for Gentlemen Only, Ladies Forbidden. So while there is an LPGA tour and you might see a lady or two frolicking around the course, the golf course is a holy natural locker room for us men to find time to be men. It is a place where we can vent our frustrations to each other via the mental combustion of the slice, suck on cigars and dream of the 19th hole. There are an art and a code to the sport and within the golf culture, we love to personalize the crap out of everything. Hence, the golf topper, a groomsmen gift designed to make every club feel like your own personal beating stick.
4. Personalized Growler Case
A cottage industry comes full circle, the advent of craft beer has evolved to such a level that men are possessed. Intoxicated by hops and barley, we mission ourselves to find that next delicious IPA or Imperial Stout. It’s an industry gone wild, and while possibly a bit saturated, it’s not going anywhere. Bottom line, men have enjoyed drinking since alcohol was discovered and the vast microbrews simply accentuate our love for it. With that has come to a variety of doodads and cultural items of enhancement in how we take advantage of it. One is the growler, a majestic carrier of our favorite brews. And while we have seen many different types of cool growlers out there, we haven’t seen many ways of protecting and keeping our growlers chilled. Meet the personalized growler carrier.
5. Personalized Key Chain Figure
Little cousin to the Bobblehead doll, this keychain figure gives your guy a hysterical way of embellishing in himself within an item that is a constant in his life, his keys. While we tend to shun over-bulkifying our keychain from that of the standard janitor set, this little treasure makes it worth it. No longer will he have a hard time spotting his keys at the valet or confusing it with another’s. Every guy will enjoy revving up his hot rod when he twists that key along with a little version of himself.
6. The Really, Really Nice Travel Bag
For those guys in their 20’s getting married, there sits opportunity amongst your demographic as it comes to groomsmen gift giving. That opportunity is affording that group of pals who don’t want to graduate from their Kappa Sigma mindset to finally become classy gents. Within that window of helping them along, is a perfect starting point as it comes to groomsmen gifts, the toiletry bag. For some reason, it’s an item that anoints a man’s belongings to take it the next level. It’s a catalyst to grow up a bit, a slight and immensely appreciated suggestion that we are at the next phase of life. No longer will you be called by your nickname of Bender Ben, but we will call you by your professional name of Benjamin. If you’re going to give one, you do it right and you do it with a toiletry bag that really gives him something that will make a statement. It’s something he’ll cherish and use and given the quality, will only get better with age.
7. Personalized Pillows
Yeah, these are hysterical. While a little on the ridiculous side, what groomsman isn’t going to find a giant pillow of his face on his couch as anything but awesome? They’ll be conversation pieces, something to cheer up on bad days and a fluffy friend to cuddle with when watching a romcom alone. Who can sap up those embarrassing mushy tears better than your own face? Assured to grab a laugh on wedding eve, these guys are cheap enough to tandem with another groomsmen gift. If the basis of you and your pack is debauchery and laughter, then you have found groomsmen gift gold.
8. Personalized Noble Painting
Our 2016 winner for straight originality, these guys have struck comedic perfection as it comes to an out of the box groomsman gift. A man cave mantelpiece to the utmost, we are so absolutely stunned by the pure eccentricity that our gift giving brains haven’t fully bent around it. That in itself is enough to join our tops list. What man cannot see himself ordained as royalty, taking his regal rights to down ale at oak tables, lead men to battle and cascade through medieval brothels (Our lust for Game of Thrones may have taken that one a little too far). All said, if you can pony up and your group is a gauntlet of cheery old laugh hards, then what a groomsmen gift!
9. Personalized Sandals
This summertime stocking stuffer just has a frolicking fun way about it. If you have a summer beach style wedding teed up, then this goody sits as a no-brainer as it’s not going to kill your wallet while also leaving whatever beach you’re at muddled with hysterical footprints. No need to go Hansel & Gretal when tracking anyone down if you have these around, just follow the footprints. Personally, we think nicknames of some funny significance might be apropos with these flippers. Team them up with a cool pair of sunglasses and you could have a summertime two pack that makes a splash.
10. Personalized Suspenders
Not sure if you fellas have noticed, but there’s a style movement going on out there amongst us men. That movement is grabbing at the old saying that all cool styles circle back around. It’s a style that dates back to times when men were of character, dashing and with class, taking what was given them and pruning as a canvas. It was a day when men wore mustaches, top hats, monocles, and bow ties. It was a day when men accessorized themselves with amply detailed works of fashion. One amazing representation of that as a gift today is a handsome set of leather suspenders, personalized of course. Rock these things during any dressy event and your torso will glow and you shed the suit jacket. Ladies be warned.
11. The Mighty Bobblehead
Flick it, slap it, watch it bounce, it’s the bobblehead doll. It’s a part of minor league baseball souvenir lore, it’s a choice trinket across all of the sports. It adorns desks, it sits amongst sporting memorabilia, it makes men happy. It has a place in our hearts. But why should it be left at that when there is an opportunity to transcend well beyond? Just as Doctor Evil had Mini-Me, your men can have mini versions of themselves that they look at adoringly. It will have a spot near his computer monitor, he’ll likely have conversations with it, it will be his sounding board. This is not just a clay doll with a giant head that looks like you, it is a best friend.
12. Personalized Tap
We caveat that this gem may only be useful if your guy has a man cave with a bar or a kegerator, or at least aspires to in a short time. If so, darn it, this groomsmen gift glows. A prize that he will grip proudly, give him the sensation of running his own basement pub, a part of his lifelong home pour experience. Taking site of the beautiful beer craze that has swept men off their drunken feet across the world, a personalized tap is a cherry on the hoppy cake.
There you have it gentleman. We have combed the web, we’ve taken some items that fall within the “if it ain’t broken, don’t fix” category, we’ve discovered unfathomable interesting treasures. Choose wisely, take your time, honor your groomsmen with a gift that shows them you give a $#!+. These are guys that should be with you for a long time, so should the groomsmen gift you give them on a momentous weekend in your life.