Six Ways to Get Some Nookie When You’re Stressing About the Wedding

Posted on October 30, 2013 by Chris Bajda

The pre-wedding months usually bring around some major stress.  Your fiance’ is hustling trying to iron out the appetizer menu, coordinate her bridesmaids and finalize the guest list while your hustling to find awesome gifts for your groomsmen.  For the most part, you’re an accessory to it all, but often feel the wrath of the pre-wedding bridezilla.  It can be overwhelming, I mean this is the biggest day in your fiancé's life.  She wants it to be perfect and who can blame her? Weddings have been glorified by movies and culture.  One of the biggest byproducts of pre-wedding stress is the absence of time and mental bandwidth to do the dirty.  Don’t allow this period of stress to dominate your love life and force you into having to wait for your honeymoon for the release.   As they say, practice makes perfect and you should be a well-oiled machine for that two weeks in Hawaii.  We propose a few ways to slow it down and get your lady to take her focus off the wedding menu and onto your libido. 

  1. Take her out of her environment – when you have invitations choices, wedding favor catalogs and a mother in law within striking distance, it tends to keep your fiancé distracted.  Get her out of there, ideally without a cell phone or laptop.  Take her away for a weekend away from it all, just you and her.  Whether it be a cabin out in the wilderness or just a nice hotel locally, this is about isolating the two of you in a way where you can focus on each other, and make bacon of course. 
  2. Simulate a Pre-Honeymoon – put a towel shaped like an elephant on the bed, whip up some room service in bed and splash some rose petals around the house.  Nothing will see your fiance’s clothes drop faster than a fast forward into the vacation of a lifetime.  Think of it as a preemptive snapshot into the future of what will definitely be a week-long romp in 10000 thread count. 

  1. Make her laugh – no better aphrodisiac than some honest to goodness belly laughing.  It’ll break the ice, reduce the tension and make her drop her panties.  Play a fun practical joke, put on something ridiculous, make a pizza with a pepperoni smiley face on it.  Cater to your ladies sense of humor and make her remember that this thing called the wedding, it’s still about you and her and doesn't need to be a serious as some make it. 
  2. Hit up a concert and party – getting married is basically a rocket ship into adulthood.  That alone is a little stressful.  Next comes all the contingencies that come along with life after marriage – house, kids, college.  You know where I’m going with this.  It may not be sitting there as a stress in the front of the brain, but somewhere back there in the Freud zone, it’s sinking in.  What better to take a step back than some sophomoric concert where you can roll in the lawn and drink bud lights.  Hit up the closest Dave Matthews Concert if you really want to rewind. 
  3. Do a fun faux playout of what you think the speeches will sound like of each other – yeah, you heard me.  Another way of bringing it all back to perspective.  My brother roasted me and I felt like burying my head in the sand like an ostrich for about an hour.   Do an improve speech of what you think the best man/maid of honor will do and sound like of each other.  Have fun with your wedding, disconnect from perfection and realize that it’s an experience you should enjoy. 
  4. Turn down the blinds, spend a day totally naked – commit to it.  Whether your day is ironing, doing an Insanity workout in the basement or just sitting on the couch watching DVR’ed episodes of Extra, take it all off and keep it all off.   First of all, you’re both probably dieting and looking great.   Enjoy each other’s hard work and bring some levity, really great levity, back into your lives.  Nothing quite does that more than going primal by going birthday suit.