Blissful love, it will rapture a man and turn him into a being his friends don’t recognize. Most of us have likely been on either end of it at some point. Watching one of our best buddies go from usual Friday night drinking partner or Sunday armchair quarterback compatriot to writing poetry and locking himself in his bedroom with the new lady for hours on end. While love is powerful, it’s magical, it’s also important not to lose site of the big picture and the cast of friends that have been there with you for the long haul. Don’t let the endorphins fully cloud your vision – maintain the type of balance that lets your fiance know you’re not one to fully submit to the hypnosis of new love. Let’s take a look at the early signs. If you see any of these happening, it may be time to stop, look in the mirror and reassess.
1. Running EVERYTHING Past Your Lady – c’mon guys, you are all at will humans. No one should be the owner of your right to enjoy the things that bring you happiness. Courtesy is one thing, asking for permission is another. Stay manly, call your own shots, but be respecting. You should not have to constantly check in, consult with on plans. A new flame should not be ankle monitor.
2. You Invite Your Lady to Guy Events – you know it when it happens. You’re at the bar, downing drafts, watching a game, talking about the old days. In comes, your buddy toting along his new lady. All of a sudden, everyone has to tone it down, stay in the lines, make sure she’s accounted for and not feeling left out. Don’t do it guys. Male friends together at a bar, it’s like a locker room and implies the same laws.
3. Shared Email Address – do you ever get an email from one of your bro’s where it might look something like email@example.com and you think to yourself, what in the H?? Guys, don’t share things that are really meant to be individualistic. A couple should be two individuals that love each other. Not two human beings that are morphing into one like a Siamese twin. Unless you are surgically bonded, keep the email to yourself.
4. PDA – public displays of affection. I believe in a minimalist approach here. Any kind of tongue exchange in a public place is just flat out foul. You know it when you see it, it’s as clear as day. Two people are all over each other, giddy, giggling, hands up shirts. It’s semi-cute, but mainly disgusting. Stay classy, a peck, a smooch, holding hands all works. No one wants to see foreplay at the mall.
5. Matching Tattoos – yes, matching tattoos. I have one with my wife. Yes, I said that. I am writing from a point of wisdom here. To this day, I look at that small animal cracker sized tattoo of a polar bear on my lower back and think back to when I was a true moron. While I love my wife and that bear is a reflection of that blissful early love, I also jack my swim trunks up high enough to hide it when I’m at the beach. It was a great time, yet a low point at the same time. Who was I? I often ask myself. Someone needed to kick me and offer some levity. Being 6’4” and a bit of an alpha male, no one was courageous enough.
6. You Change – yes, a very macro assessment. This essentially means that you are now filtered, censored, basically not comfortable being your old self around your pals when you’re lady is around. Your general topic of conversation is now about how awesome your new lady is. You lose your old step and your main focus now is based on pleasing this new person. Maintain your character men, be true to yourself and don’t lose the foundation of why your bros love hanging with you.
Ultimately a guy that keeps his cool at a stage that typically induces whippedsomnia is one that will be looked at with high accolades from his entourage. It’s a sign of strength, the sign of a leader. Love is awesome, but don’t let it totally change you.