When Moving In Together Makes You Run the Other Way

by Chris Bajda September 09, 2013

The Ten Biggest Hurdles in Moving In Together

Moving in – maybe the single biggest adjustment for either a guy or girl in their relationship. Often, it is THE test.  Sharing space becomes the pivotal moment in understanding true compatibility.  While the endorphins of new love can keep a great relationship in fifth gear when you’re not living together, sharing the same address becomes the first true reality check.   Tradition has long kept two people from living together before marriage, but today more and more couples are giving it a go before they pull the trigger.  There are little things that you’ll find cute at first, but over time, could blow blood vessels.  Let’s prepare you with some of the biggies so you can set the expectations properly. 


1) Privacy - the inevitability is that in any relationship, someone may be a little bit more suspicious, a little bit more jealous, maybe even a little bit more controlling.  When you move in it does not mean that your cell phone and email are now community reads.  Privacy and personal space are absolute in any healthy relationship as there is this thing called trust that is monumental.  Establish this early and often. 


2) Toilet Seat – the most cliché’ battle in the history of men and women.  Us guys need a wide target because our pistol can be…………erratic.  For some reason, leaving that target ready for fire pisses(no pun intended) our ladies off.  It’s not a ton of effort to compromise here, rather just the point of remembering – old habits die hard. 


3) Making the Bed – there are some people that just need a made bed to get back into it at night.  It’s a mental thing, an organizational thing.  Me, I’m just as happy jumping into the crinkled sheets, just as inviting.   Logically, what is the point of making it if you’re just going to unmake it daily?  That philosophy is not shared by all. 


4) Showering – we’ve all been there, standing in the back end of the shower and freezing our tails off as the other one is being massaged by the warm stream.  Tolerating those goose bumps for love will have a run, but a little further down the road, you’ll be looking at your other as an evil hot water hog. 



5) The Dishes – dorm life has instilled in many of us guy a tendency of piling up the dishes and then going into rapid fire mode all at once.  I may even recall some mold growing on those piles.  While some of us guys adapt to standard society, others not so much.  The ladies will likely not tolerate.  Avoid seeing them stack up as the motivation to tackle becomes really hard to conjure up.    


6)  The Remote Control – the constant battle of surfing sports versus bad reality TV.  This seems to be a household battle royal in every man/woman dwelling.  If I have to be forced to watch one more episode of the Kardashian’s, I may cut my eyes out.  Bruce Jenner’s frozen face for even 60 seconds is more than enough for any guy.  Try to find some TV that transcends both genders. 


7) Eating Habits/Table Manners – so there are times with some guys where utensils can be kind of discretionary and our inner caveman erupts.   I know when I get home from work, I feel like a TRex looking to unhinge my mandible and jam as much food as I can down my throat as fast as possible.  Ladies still like a gentleman regardless of how long they’ve been with you.  While slopping down some tacos at the coffee table is ok sometimes, also show your lady you can dine like James Bond. 


8) Packrats – some people love to store old stuff, some people like to cleanse themselves of it.  Not sure if you call a packrat sentimental or holding out for that .1% chance that they just may wear that 7 year old polka dot button down again.  Whatever it is, the clean freak will wig out staring at piles of


9)  Alarm Clock – in college, I had a roommate who used to like the feeling of the snooze button so much, he’d set it two hours earlier than he had to wake up just to snooze it ten times.   Now that’s extreme, but you get the picture.   Some wake up early, some not so much.  Find a common ground. 


10)  Closet Space – you’ll see it, split the walk in one day then slowly notice your space dwindling to 10% of the closet.  It’s like a slow drip.  The woman’s wardrobe is an ever growing being, it will invade when you least suspect, ESPECIALLY if they’re a packrat.  Draw the line, make your stand or be conquered and start having to use the garage to keep your suits in. 


If the two of you love each other, there are solutions and ways to work it out.  Be smart, be patient, communicate and compromise.  Don’t let things mount as passive aggressive is never the means to a strong relationship.  Many of you may already may be living together and feeling some of these bumps.  We’ve likely only uncovered the tip of the ice berg.  What have we missed?  What has your hardest adjustment been? 


Do you have any more that we should add to our list?  If so, be sure to leave a comment below.  

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