Arranging your arsenal of groomsmen is no easy task. Directly put, it's a delicate process. You certainly don't want to offend anyone while also putting together a team of groomsmen that really means something to yourself. The list of groomsmen candidates could be far reaching depending on your family dynamic and circle of friends. There are pals, old college roommates and childhood friends to potentially consider. Here are some variables to think about.
First, the number of groomsmen: You can ultimately go as far as you want with this, but it will be important to consider the ratio with bridesmaids. You’ll also want to keep some intimacy to how you want to create your overall group. Anyone that doesn't make the cut can be smoothed over with a good conversation and allowing them to participate in the wedding in other ways, such as helping with seating.
One of the tougher sticking points is often involving the brothers of the bride. This could be dependent on how traditional you want to go and how large a group you want to arrange. Have that conversation with your wife to be and see how important it is to her. What’s most important here is that you’re on the same page and if a challenge results, see it as a building block in how to tackle for the future. At the end of the day, your wedding party should be a balance of meaningful groomsmen that will bring a great time to the day and be reliable in tending to their groomsmen duties.
As for the best man, this can be a slam dunk or a major point of wrestling with. When everything else is even, you may have to think a bit selfishly on this one and choose the guy who will bring the most to the best man speech and have the sense to balance class with humor. While your buddies may enjoy his twisted jokes on the bachelor party, one must realize that the audience in a wedding isn't all guys you used to do keg stands within the backyard of your frat house.
At the end of the day, choose an individual and individuals who are an active part of your lives. Groomsmen you know will be there and excited for you for the birth of your kids and to break the champagne on the purchase of your first house. Hopefully, there are memories from your wedding day that you can reflect on in that house for a long time.