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  • How to Pick Groomsmen: Answering All Your Questions and More

    by Melissa Bajda August 31, 2023

    Are you wondering how to pick groomsmen without offending friends and family? Choosing the right groomsmen for your wedding day can be tricky, as emotions can get in the way of making the best decision. But there is no need to worry because we've got you covered.

    How to Pick Groomsmen

    Here, you will find answers to all your questions about picking groomsmen. From tips to duties and responsibilities, this post will provide helpful advice to make the selection process a breeze.

    Before Choosing the Groomsmen

    Before choosing the groomsmen, there are common questions that we will discuss. How many should you have? Who should be the groomsmen? What should you look for in your groomsmen? Are they willing to fulfil their responsibilities?

    This section will dive into these questions and provide helpful tips for choosing your groomsmen:

    How Many Groomsmen Should You Have in Your Wedding?

    Choosing how many groomsmen to have at your wedding is an important decision that can impact your big day's overall dynamics and atmosphere. While there is no hard and fast rule, there are some factors to consider when determining the ideal number of groomsmen for your wedding party.

    1. Size of Your Wedding Party

    The size of your wedding party, including bridesmaids, groomsmen, and other attendants, should be proportionate to your wedding party size.

    • For a Small Wedding (50 Guests):

    If you plan a micro wedding with around 50 guests, you may wonder how many groomsmen you should have. While there's no set number, consider having just one best man or one best man and one groomsman closest to you and who you can rely on for support, such as best friend or closest family member.

    • For an Intimate Wedding (80 to 100 Guest):

    When planning an intimate wedding with 80 to 100 guests, you may wonder how many groomsmen you need. As a general guideline, a smaller wedding typically has fewer bridesmaids and groomsmen, often ranging from two to four. This allows for a more intimate and close-knit group, ensuring each groomsman plays a significant role in your wedding party.

    • For a Classic Wedding (100 to 150 Guests):

    The number of groomsmen can vary for a classic wedding with 100 to 150 guests. Having slightly large wedding parties is common, so you may consider having four to six groomsmen. This allows for a balanced look and ensures everyone plays a significant role.

    • For a Large Wedding (Over 150 Guests):

    If you plan a large wedding with over 150 guests, you might wonder how many groomsmen you need. As a general guideline, having six to eight groomsmen would create a balanced and visually appealing look at large weddings.

    This larger number of groomsmen can help ensure that everyone has an important role to play and can also help with any difficult task such as organizing the guests and coordinating the wedding day logistics.

    2. Balance with the Bridesmaids

    It is generally recommended to have an equal number of groomsmen and bridesmaids. This creates a symmetrical look during the ceremony and helps with the logistics of the wedding party.

    Additionally, it can simplify the process of coordinating bridesmaid dress orders and ensuring a cohesive look for the entire bridal party.

    3. Venue Limitations

    Consider any restrictions or limitations imposed by your wedding venue. Some venues have limited space or seating arrangements, impacting the number of groomsmen you can comfortably accommodate.

    Discuss these details with your wedding planner or venue coordinator to ensure you choose a number that works well within the confines of your desired location.

    4. Budget Considerations

    Remember that each groomsman will require attire, accessories, and potentially other expenses, such as travel or accommodations for out-of-town weddings. Be mindful of your budget and consider how many groomsmen you can comfortably accommodate without struggling financially.

    5. Balance and Symmetry

    Consider the overall aesthetic of your wedding and the desire for balance and symmetry. An odd number of groomsmen can create an unbalanced look, while an even number can provide a more harmonious visual appeal at wedding party.

    Consider how the groomsmen will be positioned during the ceremony and how they will line up for photos. Visualize the overall composition and choose a number to create a visually pleasing and symmetrical appearance.

    Remember, the number of groomsmen you choose should ultimately reflect your personal preferences and the unique dynamics of your wedding. There is no right or wrong answer if you select a number that feels right for you and your future wife.

    Groomsmen Assemble: Who Deserves a Spot in Your Wedding Crew?

    How to Pick Groomsmen

    When it comes to choosing your groomsmen, it can feel like a daunting task. After all, these guys will be by your side throughout the wedding process and stand beside you on one of the most important days of your life. So, who should you choose to join this perfect group?

    1. Siblings

    Your siblings are often the first to come to mind when considering your groomsmen. They have been with you through thick and thin, and having them by your side on your wedding day can be incredibly meaningful.

    2. Extended Family

    Close cousins, uncles, or other family members can also make great groomsmen. They share a bond with you that is different from friendships, and having a family as a part of your wedding party can help create a sense of tradition and togetherness.

    3. Closest Friends

    Your closest friends are the ones who have been there for you throughout your life. You turn to them in need and celebrate your triumphs with them. Choosing your closest friends as groomsmen strengthens your bond with them and ensures you have a support system on your big day.

    4. Supportive Individuals

    Sometimes, it is not just about blood relations or lifelong friendships. Individuals in your life may have shown unwavering support and love. These could be mentors, colleagues, college roommates, or even best friends you've made recently. Be bold, think outside the box, and include those who have positively impacted your life.

    5. Partner's Family Members

    It is essential to consider your partner's family members. Including the spouse's family in your wedding party strengthens the family bond and shows your commitment to building a strong foundation with your partner's loved ones.

    These people include future brother or father-in-law, bride's best friend, or other family members that groom is comfortable with.

    Remember, the people you choose should have a meaningful connection with you and your future spouse, as they will support and celebrate this important milestone in your life. So, take some time to reflect on those special relationships when you choose your groomsmen.

    Factors to Keep in Mind When Selecting Groomsmen

    It is about picking your closest friends or family members and considering their roles on your special day.

    Here are some tips on choosing your groomsmen that will make your wedding an unforgettable experience:

    1. Reflect on Your Relationships

    Think about the people who have been there for you throughout your life. Consider your mutual friends, siblings, and cousins who have been a part of your journey. It is important to choose groomsmen who have a meaningful connection with you and your spouse-to-be.

    2. Consider Their Availability and Commitment

    Being a groomsman requires time and dedication. Consider the responsibilities they might have in their personal and professional lives. Choosing your groomsmen who will be available and willing to participate fully in all the pre-wedding events and the wedding day itself is important.

    3. Consider Their Financial Situation

    When choosing your groomsmen, it is important to consider their financial situation. Being a groomsman comes with expenses, such as buying or renting a suit, attending pre-wedding events, and contributing to group gifts or the bachelor party.

    Have a one-on-one conversation with each potential groomsman to gauge their financial situation and ensure they are comfortable with the financial responsibilities involved.

    4. Think About Their Personalities and Interests

    Your potential groomsmen or best man will be by your side throughout the wedding planning process, so choosing people who will contribute positively and add to the overall atmosphere is essential.

    Consider their personalities, interests, and how well they get along with other members of your wedding party.

    5. Keep the Balance

    As, we discussed earlier, balance is key when it comes to selecting groomsmen. Having an even number of groomsmen and bridesmaids is important, as they will often be paired together during the ceremony. Consider the size of your wedding and choose a number that feels appropriate.

    6. Be Mindful of Any Potential Conflicts

    Consider any potential conflicts that may arise between your groomsmen. If there are any past tensions or unresolved issues, it is best to address them before making your final decision.

    You want your wedding party filled with joy and positivity, so choosing groomsmen who will support and uplift each other is essential.

    7. Seek Input from Your Partner

    Your partner's input is crucial when it comes to choosing groomsmen. Discuss your thoughts and considerations with your spouse-to-be to ensure you are on the same page. It is important to choose your groomsmen who will not only support you but also have a positive impact on your partner's wedding experience.

    8. Trust your Instincts

    Ultimately, trust your instincts when it comes to choosing groomsmen. And don't worry, your brother, college roommates, or even just your sister who can be a grooms women will be there to support you on one of the most important days of your life.

    Asking Your Chosen Groomsmen: Creative Ways to Pop the Question

    How to Ask Groomsmen

    Asking someone to be your groomsman is an exciting and important task. It is a way to show your close friends and family that you value their friendship and want them by your side on your special day. So, how do you ask them in a memorable and meaningful way?

    1. Ask in Person

    Asking in person is always a great choice. It adds a personal touch and allows you to see their reaction firsthand. Whether it is over a casual hangout or a special outing, take the time to sit down with each potential groomsman and express how much their presence means to you on your big day.

    2. Groomsmen Gifts

    If you want to add an extra touch of excitement, consider groomsman gifts. These small tokens of appreciation from Groovy Groomsmen can make your formal request even more special. Here are some top picks to consider:

    • Groomsmen proposal gift sets: These sets typically include items like personalized flasks, socks, and groomsmen-themed accessories.
    • Groomsmen gift sets: Similar to the proposal gift sets, these sets are often filled with useful and stylish items that your groomsmen will appreciate.
    • Cigar gifts: If your groomsmen are cigar enthusiasts, a personalized cigar set or a selection of their favorite cigars could be the perfect way to ask.
    • Sports gifts: If your groomsmen are sports fans, consider gifting them with personalized sports jerseys, tickets to a game, or other sports-related items.
    • Knife gifts: A high-quality personalized knife or multi-tool can be a thoughtful and practical gift for the outdoorsy types.
    • Personalized Decanters: If your groomsmen enjoy fine spirits, a personalized decanter or whiskey set can be a sophisticated way to ask.
    • Cufflinks: Classic and stylish, personalized cufflinks are a timeless gift option that your groomsmen can wear on your wedding party.

    3. Make a Video

    If you want to get creative, you can even make a video asking your groomsmen to participate in your special day. Include funny or sentimental moments and express gratitude to your best friend.

    Share the video with them individually or gather them for a viewing party to make it even more memorable.

    Remember, the most important thing is to make the ask personal and sincere. Your groomsmen will appreciate the effort you put into making them feel special and valued as you invite them to be a part of your wedding day.

    What's Next? Responsibilities and Duties of Your Groomsmen

    Groomsmen Duties and Responsibilities

    The most common tasks for groomsmen on the wedding day include taking photos (83%), helping set up decorations (52%), and decorating/getting ready venues (49%), according to a survey conducted by Hitched.co.uk.

    Your best man and groomsmen will not only stand beside you during the ceremony, but they will also play a crucial part in helping to plan and organize pre-wedding events.

    1. Support and Assistance

    Your groomsmen support you throughout the wedding planning process and on the wedding day. They should be willing to help with tasks such as planning groom's party, choosing outfits, attending fittings, taking care of wedding rings, and addressing invitations.

    2. Bachelor Party Planning

    One of the traditional responsibilities of groomsmen is planning the bachelor party. They should work together to create a memorable and enjoyable experience for the groom's party.

    Whether it is a weekend getaway, a day of activities, or an exotic location, make sure to create a memorable experience. Remember, the group dynamic matters, so aim to create an atmosphere where everyone feels comfortable and included.

    3. Ceremony Logistics

    Groomsmen are responsible for making sure the ceremony runs smoothly. This includes arriving on time, escorting the wedding party members to their seats, and ensuring the groom is ready and prepared.

    4. Emotional Support

    Your groomsmen should be there to provide emotional support during the wedding planning process. They should be available to listen, offer advice for awkward situations, and provide a calming presence when needed.

    5. Wedding Day Preparations

    Groomsmen should be prepared to assist with any last-minute tasks or emergencies on the wedding day. This could include running errands, handling vendor coordination, or providing backup supplies.

    6. Toasts and Speeches

    Groomsmen often have the opportunity to give the reception toast or speech at the wedding. They should be prepared to speak in front of a crowd and share heartfelt words about the couple.

    7. Dance Partners

    Groomsmen are expected to participate in the wedding party dances during the wedding reception. They should be ready to hit the dance floor and have a great time celebrating with the newlyweds.

    8. Socializing with Wedding Guests

    Groomsmen should be friendly and approachable, interacting with and welcoming wedding party members. They should be prepared to strike up conversations and keep the energy of the wedding reception high.

    9. Assisting the Bride and Groom

    Groomsmen should be available to assist the bride and groom throughout the wedding party. Whether it is holding bouquets, carrying personal items, or providing a helping hand, their support is invaluable.

    Matching Groomsmen Attire: Dos and Don'ts

    Groomsmen Attire

    According to a survey by Men's Wearhouse, the most popular color for groomsmen attire is navy blue (33%), followed by grey (24%) and black (21%).

    Regarding matching groomsmen attire, there are some dos and don'ts to remember. Let's look at them:

    • Do: Coordinate the groomsmen attire with the overall wedding theme and color scheme. This will create a cohesive and visually appealing look for your wedding party. The groomsmen's attire must complement the bride and groom's outfits.
    • Don't: Select overly complicated or intricate attire. While unique and stylish outfits can be great, the groomsmen must get dressed and undressed quickly. Opt for easy attire to wear and take off, allowing for a seamless transition throughout the day.
    • Do: Ensure the groomsmen's attire is comfortable. Remember, they will be standing, sitting, and dancing throughout the day, so it is essential that they feel at ease in their outfits. Consider the fabric, fit, and shoes when selecting their attire.
    • Don't: Choose your groomsmen attire that will outshine the groom's attire. The focus should be on the couple, and the groom should stand out among his groomsmen. Avoid selecting outfits that are overly flashy or attention-grabbing.
    • Do: Communicate the dress code clearly to the groomsmen. Please provide them with all the necessary details, including specific guidelines or restrictions. This will ensure everyone is on the same page and avoid confusion or last-minute wardrobe mishaps.

    Following these dos and don'ts will make your groomsmen look sharp and feel great on your special day.

    Related: If you are still unsure about the attire, check out our guide on picking on groomsmen attire.

    Frequently Asked Question

    1. Who should you pick as your groomsmen?

    Your groomsmen should be close friends or family members who have played a significant role in your life. Choose people who will support and be there for you on your wedding day.

    2. Who is typically your groomsmen?

    The typical groomsmen are your best friends, brothers, or close male relatives. They are the ones you trust and rely on and will stand by your side as you say "I do."

    3. How do I choose groomsmen order?

    The groomsmen order can be determined based on various factors, such as their relationship to you or their role in your life. You can also consider their availability and willingness to take on responsibilities.

    4. How many groomsmen should I pick?

    The number of groomsmen is entirely up to you. Some weddings have small parties with only a few groomsmen, while others have a larger group. Choose the number that feels right for you and your wedding vision.

    Related: Check out our more blogs on Groomsmen, from gift picking to groomsmen suits guide.


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